Building a life together is a profound and timeless theme, one that encapsulates love, partnership, commitment, and the shared journey of two people who decide to shape their future as one. Poetry, in its vast capacity to distill emotions and capture the nuances of the human experience, provides an exceptional medium for reflecting on the delicate process of building a life together.
In this article, we will explore 13 carefully selected poems that touch on different facets of this central theme. Each poem reflects the beauty and challenge of collaboration, growth, and transformation in a relationship. Through poetry excerpts and analysis, we will examine the ways in which these poets approach the subject of partnership and the enduring bond of love.
1. “Sonnet 116” by William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Shakespeare‘s “Sonnet 116” is one of the most celebrated explorations of the idea of steadfast love. In this sonnet, Shakespeare insists that true love is constant and unwavering, even in the face of adversity. He compares love to an “ever-fixed mark,” a metaphor for stability that cannot be moved by time or circumstance. When we consider the theme of building a life together, this poem suggests that a successful partnership is rooted in a love that remains unchanged despite the inevitable challenges that arise. The unwavering commitment to each other is what forms the bedrock upon which a life together can be constructed.
2. “A Red, Red Rose” by Robert Burns
O my Luve’s like a red, red rose
That’s newly sprung in June;
O my Luve’s like the melodie
That’s sweetly played in tune.
In “A Red, Red Rose,” Robert Burns uses the metaphor of a rose to describe the speaker’s deep and eternal love for his partner. The image of the rose evokes beauty, growth, and vitality—essential qualities for building a life together. Just as a rose needs care and attention to flourish, so too does love require nurturing and effort. The poem speaks to the enduring nature of love, highlighting the idea that even though love may face trials, it is resilient and continues to grow, much like a life that flourishes when both partners invest in their shared journey.
3. “The Invitation” by Oriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s “The Invitation” challenges conventional notions of love and connection by inviting the reader to consider what truly matters in a relationship. This poem emphasizes the importance of vulnerability and emotional depth when building a life together. The speaker expresses a desire to understand not just the surface-level aspects of a person’s life, but the deep, unspoken desires and dreams. In building a life together, it is not enough to share physical space or responsibilities; partners must also share their emotional landscapes, dreams, and vulnerabilities, creating a life that is rich and fulfilling on every level.
4. “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in)” by e.e. cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it
anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling.
This iconic poem by e.e. cummings encapsulates the idea of unity and symbiosis within a relationship. The speaker suggests that the love between two people is so intimate and interconnected that there is no “self” anymore—there is only “us.” This is especially relevant to the theme of building a life together, where personal boundaries blur as two individuals become intertwined in every action, thought, and decision. The poem emphasizes the profound, almost mystical connection that defines a relationship where both partners live not only for themselves but for each other, carrying each other’s hearts through life.
5. “To My Dear and Loving Husband” by Anne Bradstreet
If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me, ye women, if you can.
Anne Bradstreet‘s “To My Dear and Loving Husband” is an eloquent celebration of love between two people who are deeply committed to one another. Through her sincere and passionate words, Bradstreet portrays a marriage built on mutual respect, love, and admiration. The speaker conveys that their union transcends ordinary human experiences, suggesting that the building of a life together is not just about the practicalities but about sharing joy and a deep, spiritual connection. This poem demonstrates the importance of love as the cornerstone for creating a shared life.
6. “Love After Love” by Derek Walcott
The time will come
when, with elation,
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror,
and each will smile at the other’s welcome,
and say, sit here. Eat.
Derek Walcott’s “Love After Love” offers a powerful meditation on self-love and personal growth within the context of a relationship. It suggests that before we can truly build a life together with someone else, we must first learn to love and appreciate ourselves. The poem emphasizes self-reflection, independence, and personal fulfillment as vital elements in a healthy partnership. Only when individuals are whole and content in themselves can they offer true companionship and build a relationship based on mutual respect and equality.
7. “The Art of Marriage” by Wilferd A. Peterson
A good marriage must be created.
In the marriage, the little things are the big things.
It is never being too old to hold hands.
It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.
In “The Art of Marriage,” Peterson breaks down the day-to-day realities of creating a lasting and loving marriage. The poem places emphasis on the small, yet incredibly meaningful, gestures that define a relationship. Building a life together is as much about these moments as it is about grand declarations of love or big milestones. Peterson’s advice highlights the importance of nurturing a relationship through consistent acts of care, which ultimately strengthens the bond and ensures the partnership thrives over time.
8. “The Broken Bowl” by Rainer Maria Rilke
One day, the bowl will be broken,
and the sky will be open,
and all the birds will know
that we lived here.
Rilke’s “The Broken Bowl” delves into the fragility of life and love, suggesting that the building of a life together is not just about the successes and joys but also about the impermanence and inevitable loss. The speaker reflects on the fleeting nature of existence, yet there is a quiet beauty in knowing that the love shared between two people leaves an indelible mark on the world. Building a life together means understanding both the transient and lasting qualities of a relationship. It’s about creating something meaningful in the time you have, regardless of what the future holds.
9. “Poem of the Gift of Fire” by David Berman
And I don’t think I can do it.
I mean, live forever.
But I think we can.
It is always now that I see you in the light,
Here, where I am not alone.
David Berman’s poem explores the fleeting nature of life while capturing the shared experience of being present in the moment. Building a life together is often about embracing the “now”—the present moments you share and build upon. This poem captures the power of presence and connection, suggesting that the idea of forever is not as important as the depth and richness of the present shared between two people. It emphasizes the intimate, grounding quality of companionship in the face of life’s uncertainty.
10. “Two Bodies” by Frank O’Hara
I do not believe in the usual kind of progress,
But we both know this progress:
You walk on ahead of me,
I am left behind,
And then, as if by a miracle,
We walk hand in hand.
Frank O’Hara’s “Two Bodies” speaks to the ebb and flow of a relationship, where progress is not linear or predictable. It reflects the sometimes challenging, sometimes serendipitous nature of building a life together. The “miracle” of walking hand in hand after moments of separation suggests that a relationship involves both independence and interdependence. Building a life together is about finding balance—recognizing when to walk separately and when to come back together in unity.
11. “In the Orchard” by Mary Oliver
It’s clear to me that we’ve built our lives
out of many things: from the forest,
and the house,
and the old apples that fall
and the ones that we love.
Mary Oliver’s “In the Orchard” is a poignant reflection on the quiet, often overlooked moments that build a shared life. Oliver emphasizes the accumulation of small experiences—like the falling of apples or the rhythm of daily life—that together form the foundation of a relationship. In this sense, the poem speaks to the idea that building a life together involves recognizing the beauty in the mundane, the simple acts of care and connection that add up to something deeply meaningful.
12. “A Blessing for Wedding” by James Dillet Freeman
May your hearts be glad and light,
and the days ahead as bright
as the love you have for one another.
Freeman’s “A Blessing for Wedding” is a celebratory poem that offers a prayer for the couple embarking on their life together. It wishes for their hearts to remain light and their love to remain a guiding force. The idea of blessing a relationship reflects the sacredness and potential of building a life together. Freeman’s words remind us that a life constructed with love and joy has the power to sustain individuals through life’s inevitable ups and downs.
13. “How Do I Love Thee?” by Elizabeth Barrett Browning
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s iconic sonnet is a deep and passionate expression of the ways in which love manifests in different forms. The speaker recounts the many ways in which her love is expressed, suggesting that love is multifaceted and grows deeper as time goes on. Building a life together is a continuous process of expressing love in various ways, from the smallest acts of kindness to the grandest gestures. This sonnet reminds us that love, when fully realized, becomes a life’s work—a process that deepens, evolves, and grows over time.
Conclusion
The theme of building a life together has inspired poets for centuries, offering a rich field of exploration that covers the breadth of human emotions. Through the poems discussed here, we see that building a life together is not a singular event but an ongoing process—one that requires love, commitment, vulnerability, and a shared vision for the future. Whether through the stability of Shakespeare’s “Sonnet 116,” the self-awareness of Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s “The Invitation,” or the steady growth depicted in Robert Burns’ “A Red, Red Rose,” these poets remind us that a fulfilling partnership is built on layers of emotion, effort, and mutual support.
As we reflect on these poems, we are reminded that building a life together is as much about the quiet moments as the grand gestures. It is a journey that requires both individuals to grow together, and separately, finding strength in unity and joy in shared experiences. Through poetry, we gain a deeper understanding of the complexities of love and the beauty of creating something meaningful with another person.
