10 Funny Poems About the Queen You May Not Know

by James
No Coward Soul Is Mine

The British monarchy, especially Queen Elizabeth II, has long been a subject of fascination and inspiration for poets. Throughout the years, the Queen has been depicted in many ways—from the regal and stoic to the cheekily humorous. While the Queen is undoubtedly an icon of dignity, it’s often the more playful or humorous renditions of her life and reign that capture the public’s imagination.

This article explores ten funny poems about the Queen, delving into their wit, cultural relevance, and the unexpected sides of royalty they reveal. Through each poem, we’ll uncover how humor and satire have been wielded to portray one of the world’s longest-reigning monarchs.

1. “The Queen’s Speech” by Jenny Joseph

“A speech, my dear, is just a thing
That you must say, and wear with pride.
But you can’t let them know you’re tired—
You have to stand with grace and glide.”

Jenny Joseph’s “The Queen’s Speech” humorously imagines the Queen as she delivers a public address. The poem takes a lighthearted approach to royal duties, poking fun at the formality and expectations placed upon her. Joseph’s playful tone and rhythmic simplicity highlight how the public demands such perfection from the Queen, with an almost comic exaggeration of the effort it takes to maintain composure. The humor lies in how Joseph portrays the Queen as a figure constrained by her role, with her “glide” through speech symbolizing the seamless façade she must put on for the public eye.

This poem underscores a recurring theme in royal humor: the tension between the individual and the image that must be maintained. Here, humor becomes a device for exploring the absurdity of the public’s expectations.

2. “Queen Elizabeth’s Riddle” by John Betjeman

“When asked what I most truly fear,
It’s the thought of losing my crown,
But it’s not the gold, nor jewels dear,
It’s the loss of my royal gown.”

John Betjeman’s poem “Queen Elizabeth’s Riddle” takes a tongue-in-cheek approach to the Queen’s identity. By having the Queen ponder a riddle, the poem humorously engages with the monarchy’s traditional associations with grandeur and ritual. The punchline reveals the Queen’s anxiety about losing her royal gown, which could be interpreted as a metaphor for the public’s image of her. This twist highlights the paradox of monarchy—while queens are thought to possess power and control, they are often constrained by the role itself.

The humor in this poem is rooted in the idea that the Queen’s greatest fear is not political upheaval but the loss of her personal image and its associated trappings, like the gown. This touches on how royal duties may sometimes strip away individuality.

3. “The Queen’s Corgis” by Wendy Cope

“Her Corgis, all in line, do sit,
As royal feet do gently tap,
With eyes that seem to say, ‘We fit,’
A regal pack, no room for slack.”

In Wendy Cope’s “The Queen’s Corgis,” the Queen’s famous love for her dogs is explored with affectionate humor. The poem depicts the Corgis as dignified companions, in sync with the Queen’s movements, yet the light tone implies that they, too, enjoy the status that comes with being part of the royal family. Cope’s rhyme and meter reinforce the humorous depiction of these dogs, portraying them almost as royalty themselves.

Humor here is used to suggest that, much like the Queen, the Corgis are part of a royal performance—dignified yet potentially full of mischief behind the scenes. The poem also pokes fun at the idea of the dogs being as carefully trained and formal as the Queen herself.

4. “Royal Summons” by Adrian Mitchell

“Your Majesty, we need to speak,
The subjects want a day of fun,
No crowns, no speeches, just a week
To sip, and laugh, and join the sun!”

Adrian Mitchell’s “Royal Summons” humorously imagines the common folk issuing a royal decree for a break from the formality of the monarchy. The playful tone of the poem subverts the typical notion of the Queen as the one issuing commands, instead casting her in the role of one who must answer to the whims of her people.

The humor in this piece lies in its reversal of roles—usually, it’s the Queen who tells the people what to do, but here, the people humorously take control, requesting an escape from their everyday lives of servitude, and asking the Queen to join them. This satirical depiction gives a playful perspective on the otherwise serious relationship between the monarchy and its subjects.

5. “The Queen’s Lunch” by Clive James

“A plate of trifle, or perhaps a cake,
With fruit and jelly, just a little fake.
A moment’s respite from the world’s great task—
‘So, dear Queen, what’s behind that mask?’”

In Clive James’ “The Queen’s Lunch,” the mundane task of having lunch is transformed into a royal spectacle. The poem pokes fun at the Queen’s day-to-day activities, suggesting that even in such intimate moments, she is forever surrounded by the pomp of the monarchy. The suggestion that her lunch may be “a little fake” humorously critiques the notion that much of royal life is a carefully curated illusion, with even a simple meal steeped in artifice.

The humor arises from the idea that even the Queen’s lunch is a performance, a moment in which even she is not free from expectations. This builds on the idea that monarchy, with all its regalia and ceremonial weight, intrudes into even the simplest parts of life.

6. “A Day at Windsor Castle” by Peter Porter

“Oh, it’s a day like no other,
The tourists flock, and cameras flash,
But I, the Queen, just want to bother
And tell them all to clear the cache!”

Peter Porter’s “A Day at Windsor Castle” humorously contrasts the Queen’s serene public image with the potential frustration of dealing with tourists. The Queen is often seen as the epitome of grace, yet this poem imagines her privately annoyed by the constant attention, whims, and expectations placed on her. The line “clear the cache” humorously evokes the modern day, suggesting that even in royal settings, the Queen may wish for a moment of digital detox from the constant flash of cameras and the bombardment of social media.

The poem uses irony to juxtapose the royal duty of public engagement with the desire for personal peace and privacy. Humor is embedded in the contrast between the public persona of the Queen and the private thoughts that might run through her head during her interactions with the public.

7. “A Royal Mishap” by Pam Ayres

“I tripped on my robe, and nearly fell,
The crown went flying—what the hell!
The guards all looked, with faces stern,
But deep inside, they wished to learn.”

Pam Ayres’ poem “A Royal Mishap” is a delightful account of a humorous accident involving the Queen. The exaggerated description of the Queen tripping on her robe and causing her crown to fall off adds a layer of slapstick humor to the typically poised and composed image of royalty. The guards’ seemingly disapproving expressions also add to the comic effect, as the poem suggests that they, too, are somewhat entertained by the Queen’s mishap.

The humor in this piece comes from the relatable notion of a slip-up in public—a scenario that humanizes the Queen and breaks down the stoic image often associated with the monarchy. By highlighting this vulnerability, Ayres shows the Queen in a light that is more endearing and comical.

8. “Her Majesty’s Day Off” by Les Barker

“On a Tuesday, she skips the gown,
No crown, no scepter, and no frown.
Just a pair of jeans, a cup of tea,
And maybe a snooze—just let her be!”

Les Barker’s “Her Majesty’s Day Off” offers a humorous glimpse into a rare day of freedom for the Queen, where she steps away from the royal duties to enjoy a simple, private day off. The image of the Queen in jeans, sipping tea, and taking a nap evokes humor by imagining her living as an ordinary person—something far removed from her usual public persona.

The humor lies in the incongruity of the Queen, typically dressed in her royal attire and fulfilling her public duties, engaging in such relatable, everyday activities. This poem reminds readers that the Queen, for all her regal titles, is also a human being who may need rest and respite.

9. “The Queen’s Fashion” by James Fenton

“In bright-colored hats and matching shoes,
She steps out on the royal cruise.
The crown stays gleaming, gold and neat,
But oh, those shoes—they just can’t beat!”

James Fenton’s “The Queen’s Fashion” pokes fun at the Queen’s iconic fashion sense, particularly her fondness for bright hats and colorful shoes. The poem humorously exaggerates the effect of her outfit, playing on the cultural recognition of the Queen’s style. While she is often praised for her elegance, the poem highlights the sometimes whimsical and eccentric side of royal fashion.

The humor in this poem arises from the playful exaggeration of the Queen’s fashion choices, showing how the public’s fascination with her appearance often leads to both admiration and mockery.

10. “The Queen’s Tea Party” by Carol Ann Duffy

“There were biscuits, scones, and jam so sweet,
But the Earl of Wessex said ‘Please, take a seat.’
The Queen just smiled and made her way,
To sip her tea and rest all day.”

In Carol Ann Duffy’s “The Queen’s Tea Party,” the Queen’s ability to effortlessly engage in her royal duties is juxtaposed with a sense of playful leisure. The poem offers a humorous take on the often-stressful nature of royal engagements, showing the Queen’s tea party as a perfect blend of grace and ease—her “smile” and calm demeanor hiding the complexities of her role.

Humor here emerges from the paradox of her life: the Queen must constantly perform, yet in this moment, she is allowed to pause and enjoy a simple cup of tea, showing that even the most regal figures are entitled to moments of peace and pleasure.

Conclusion

The above selection provides a comprehensive look at how humor and wit have been used to explore the public and private life of Queen Elizabeth II. Each poem presents a different facet of her reign, using humor to reveal the paradoxes, pressures, and quirks of royal life. Whether it’s through satire, absurdity, or lighthearted exaggeration, these poems collectively showcase the multifaceted ways in which the Queen has been celebrated, poked fun at, and humanized through verse.

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