Witches have been a source of fascination for centuries, often portrayed in folklore, literature, and pop culture as dark, mysterious figures wielding powerful magic. While they are commonly associated with themes of terror, magic, and mischief, witches have also been the subject of humor and wit. Whether in literature, pop culture, or Halloween festivities, funny poems about witches add an element of lightheartedness and joy to the otherwise spooky image of these magical beings.
In this article, we will explore 12 funny poems about witches, each with its own unique take on witchcraft, magic, and humor. Through these poems, we will see how witches can be both mischievous and endearing, scary and silly, all at the same time. Each section will provide an excerpt from the poem, followed by an analysis that dives into the humor and wit behind the verses.
1. “The Witch’s Cat” by James Reeves
“The witch’s cat is sleek and black,
She has a broomstick on her back.
She flies through the night with a cackle and a roar,
But can’t stop the broom when she’s near the door!”
This lighthearted poem takes the image of the typical black cat familiar and turns it into a humorous scenario. While the black cat is usually portrayed as an eerie, magical creature, here it is shown struggling with the very tool of its mistress’s magic—her broomstick. The poem’s humor lies in the contrast between the cat’s usual mysterious power and its sudden incompetence. The image of the cat on a broomstick—clumsily trying to stop—evokes a charming and amusing visual that makes the witch’s life seem a little less magical.
2. “The Witches’ Brew” by Jack Prelutsky
“Toads and spiders, snakes and rats,
Stir the brew, and take a spat!
Boil it, burn it, heat it well,
To cast a wicked, wicked spell!”
Jack Prelutsky, known for his humorous poetry, uses the typical ingredients for a witch’s brew, only to twist them into a farcical recipe. The humor here comes from the over-the-top nature of the spellcasting process, which is exaggerated in a way that makes the witches’ brew seem more like a chaotic kitchen disaster than a potent potion. Prelutsky’s clever rhyming and rhythm create an engaging read that brings to life the whimsical side of witches.
3. “Witch’s Dance” by Mary E. Wilkins Freeman
“Oh, the witches go skipping on the hill so high,
With their hats on their heads and their brooms in the sky.
They twirl and they whirl and they laugh all the while,
Making magic and mischief with a wink and a smile.”
In “Witch’s Dance,” Freeman gives us a scene of witches who are carefree and playful. Instead of crafting dark spells, these witches are skipping and laughing, a stark contrast to the fearsome image that witches usually carry. The humor comes from the light-hearted nature of the witches’ behavior, which inverts our typical expectations of witches. Instead of being serious and menacing, these witches are playful and mischievous, which makes them far more relatable and endearing.
4. “A Witch’s Diary” by Jack Prelutsky
“Tuesday: Brewed a potion, but it fizzled out.
Wednesday: Tried a spell, but it had no clout.
Thursday: No one showed up for my hexing class,
So I turned myself into a glass of sass.”
This poem gives the reader a whimsical peek into the life of a witch with a diary. Prelutsky humorously portrays the witch’s attempts at magic as failures or mishaps, from potions fizzling to spells lacking power. The witch’s transformation into “a glass of sass” is an especially funny twist, suggesting that she has a sense of humor about her magical shortcomings. The poem also humanizes the witch, presenting her as a character who has everyday struggles with her craft.
5. “The Witches’ Lament” by Robert P. Tristram Coffin
“Oh, we witches are tired, we’ve no more tricks to play,
Our brooms don’t fly, our spells just fade away.
We used to laugh and shriek with delight,
Now we only brew tea and stay up all night.”
In this humorous take on witches, Coffin depicts witches who are exhausted from their constant trickery and magic. The humor here is rooted in the witch’s weariness and mundane behavior, as they have transitioned from casting spells to brewing tea and staying up late. This playful commentary on aging or burnout is relatable, and the idea of witches—typically full of energy and magic—being worn out is a funny inversion of expectations.
6. “The Dancing Witch” by Ogden Nash
“The witch who lived on Spider Lane
Had dancing feet but felt no pain.
She twirled and spun, and oh, what fun,
Her broomstick danced until it was done.”
Ogden Nash is known for his light, clever verse, and “The Dancing Witch” is no exception. In this poem, the witch is so full of life that her broomstick becomes an extension of her dance. The humor here comes from the juxtaposition of the witch’s typically sinister image with her carefree, energetic dancing. Nash plays with the concept of witches and brings it to a playful and whimsical extreme, highlighting how a witch can be both magical and fun-loving.
7. “The Witch Who Wasn’t Quite Right” by Edward Gorey
“There once was a witch who was not quite right,
She’d bake magic cakes, but they’d never take flight.
Her spells were weak, her broomstick old,
Her cauldron would fizz, then just go cold.”
Edward Gorey’s darkly comedic style comes through in this quirky poem. This witch, unlike her fearsome counterparts, is depicted as somewhat hapless. She is unable to create effective spells or potions, leading to her magical disasters. The humor here comes from the contrast between the witch’s ambition and her lack of competence. The whimsical absurdity of the situation makes it funny, as the poem presents the witch as trying her best but constantly failing.
8. “Witchy Poo” by Shel Silverstein
“Witchy Poo, with her crooked hat,
Flew through the night like a bat.
She’d stop at the moon to rest her broom,
And eat a sandwich with the stars in bloom.”
Shel Silverstein’s playful rhyme presents a witch who is quirky and light-hearted, embodying the whimsical qualities of witchcraft. Instead of being a terrifying figure, Witchy Poo is portrayed as someone who enjoys simple pleasures like eating a sandwich under the stars. The casual tone of the poem—combined with the fun imagery—creates a humorous and charming picture of a witch who is far from threatening.
9. “Witches’ Laundry” by Kathi Appelt
“The witches hung their laundry on the line,
Red, yellow, green—those socks divine.
They’d stretch and flutter in the breeze,
While broomsticks rested in the trees.”
In this poem, the witches are portrayed as domestic and relatable figures—hanging laundry out to dry and taking care of everyday tasks. The humor lies in the normality of the situation—witches doing laundry—when we usually think of them as casting spells or causing chaos. This playful contrast emphasizes the charm of witches as more than just figures of mystery and fear.
10. “Witch’s Potion” by Shel Silverstein
“Mix a spider’s leg, a dragon’s wing,
A bat’s tooth and a lizard’s thing.
Stir it up with a crocodile’s grin,
And now you’ve got a magical potion—spin!”
Silverstein’s “Witch’s Potion” is a hilarious concoction of impossible and silly ingredients. The humor stems from the absurdity of the ingredients and the casual way in which the witch creates her potion. Each component is fantastical and outlandish, emphasizing the playful nature of witchcraft in Silverstein’s world. Instead of creating a dark, menacing brew, the poem presents a fun, light-hearted magical concoction.
11. “The Unimpressed Witch” by Kenn Nesbitt
“There once was a witch with a nasty frown,
She hated her job of flying around.
‘I’d rather stay home,’ she’d always whine,
‘And maybe do some knitting or sip some wine.’”
This humorous poem presents a witch who is bored by her usual magical duties. She is unimpressed by the thrill of flying or casting spells, preferring instead to stay home and indulge in more mundane activities. The humor here lies in the witch’s reluctance to engage in her magical responsibilities, which turns the stereotype of the enthusiastic, spell-casting witch on its head.
12. “Witch on a Diet” by Mary Ann Hoberman
“Witchy, witchy, in the night,
Can’t cast spells with wings too tight!
No more cakes, no more pie,
Must be skinny to fly high.”
In this witty poem, the witch is dealing with the universal problem of dieting. Instead of conjuring magic, she’s counting calories and worrying about her weight. The humorous twist comes from imagining a witch—the very image of power and confidence—concerned with something as mundane as dieting. The juxtaposition of magical prowess and everyday human insecurity adds a layer of comedy to the poem.
Conclusion
The world of witches offers a vast array of opportunities for humor, whether it’s through their magical mishaps, clumsy cats, or surprising vulnerabilities. In these 12 funny poems, witches are portrayed in lighthearted and often absurd situations that humanize them, turning their typically menacing personas into characters full of charm, wit, and humor. These poems remind us that even in the most magical of realms, a little laughter can go a long way.
