Emily Dickinson, known for her introspective and often cryptic verse, also had an acute sense of the human condition, which she explored with remarkable insight. Throughout her poetry, themes of love, friendship, isolation, and mortality converge, creating profound reflections on human connection. Among her many explorations, Dickinson’s thoughts on friendship stand out for their complexity and emotional depth.
In this article, we will examine 13 of Dickinson’s most famous poems on the theme of friendship. Each poem reveals her nuanced understanding of relationships and the delicate balance between closeness and distance.
The 13 Most Famous Emily Dickinson Poems About Friendship of All Time
1. “The Soul Selects Her Own Society” (Poem 303)
“The Soul selects her own Society —
Then — shuts the Door —
To her divine Majority —
Present no more —”
In this poem, Dickinson captures the essence of personal boundaries and the exclusivity of true friendship. The soul in the poem deliberately “selects” a society, implying that genuine friendships are not easily formed but are chosen with deep care. The “shutting of the door” suggests that once true bonds are established, the soul does not entertain superficial acquaintances. Friendship, in this sense, is a sacred and private realm, not open to everyone.
2. “I Felt a Funeral in My Brain” (Poem 280)
“And then a Plank in Reason, broke,
And I dropped down, and down—
And hit a World, at every plunge,
And Finished knowing—then—”
Although this poem is often interpreted as a meditation on death and madness, its thematic connection to friendship lies in its portrayal of the internal disintegration that can occur when a bond with a close friend breaks. The “funeral” metaphorically captures the feeling of loss when a relationship dissolves, emphasizing the profound emotional toll it can take on the self.
3. “Friendship is the Best Gift” (Poem 111)
“Friendship is the best gift of all —
That life can give —
A token of its truest Love —
That does not ask — nor live.”
In this concise yet powerful poem, Dickinson celebrates friendship as a gift, one that transcends material desires. Here, she elevates friendship above other forms of affection or relationships, suggesting that it is both unselfish and enduring. Friendship is portrayed as a “token of its truest Love,” implying that a deep, authentic friendship is rooted in love that is unspoken but universally understood.
4. “If I Can Stop One Heart from Breaking” (Poem 919)
“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”
While this poem extends its scope to the broader act of kindness, it is an apt reflection on the nature of true friendship. The act of stopping a heart from breaking or easing a life’s aching is what friends often do for each other, offering comfort, support, and understanding. Friendship, according to Dickinson, is not measured in grand gestures but in quiet acts of compassion that leave lasting impacts.
5. “The Heart Asks Pleasure First” (Poem 448)
“The Heart asks Pleasure first,
And then, excuse from Pain —
And then, those little Anodynes
That deaden suffering —”
In this poem, Dickinson explores the inner workings of the heart and its pursuit of pleasure before confronting pain. Friendship is often a source of pleasure, an escape from the world’s hardships. Dickinson highlights the human tendency to seek joy and comfort in the company of others, positioning friendship as a balm to the emotional wounds life sometimes inflicts.
6. “A Light Exists in Spring” (Poem 1212)
“A Light exists in Spring
Not present on the Year
At any other period —
When March is scarcely here”
Although this poem speaks primarily about the fleeting beauty of spring, it can also be read as a metaphor for the transient yet illuminating nature of friendship. Just as spring brings a unique light to the world, so too do friendships bring light to our lives. Dickinson suggests that some moments—like certain friendships—are brief yet unforgettable.
7. “Love is anterior to Life” (Poem 539)
“Love is anterior to Life,
Posterior to Death,
Initial of Creation, and
The Exponent of Breath.”
This poem reflects on the primordial nature of love, placing it both before and after life itself. While it is often interpreted through a romantic lens, it can also apply to the enduring bond of friendship. In friendship, there is an unspoken understanding that transcends time and mortality, offering companionship both before and after life’s most significant events.
8. “There is no Frigate like a Book” (Poem 1263)
“There is no Frigate like a Book
To take us Lands away,
Nor any Coursers like a Page
Of prancing Poetry —”
In this well-known poem, Dickinson uses the metaphor of a “frigate” to represent the idea of escape through literature. However, the underlying message is about the power of shared experiences and connections, often central to friendship. A book, like a friend, has the ability to transport, transform, and provide companionship, echoing the way close friendships can provide solace and adventure.
9. “That I did always love” (Poem 1284)
“That I did always love
I bring thee to thee,
I would not be with thee alone
So far as possible,
I was too much aware
When I was there.”
This poem reflects the complexity of love and friendship, recognizing the nuances of how affection can manifest. Dickinson suggests that friendship requires an awareness of boundaries, of knowing when to remain close and when to respect distance. Her willingness to share this vulnerable side of human connection speaks to the intricate dance of closeness in friendships.
10. “A Narrow Fellow in the Grass” (Poem 986)
“A Narrow Fellow in the Grass
Occasionally rides —
You may have met him — did you not
His notice sudden is —”
Though this poem is often seen as addressing nature’s unsettling encounters, it can be interpreted in terms of friendship as well. The “Narrow Fellow” can symbolize the unexpected elements of friendship, the way it may sometimes feel confining or surprising. Dickinson’s use of nature as a metaphor highlights the unpredictability and sometimes ambiguous aspects of human relationships.
11. “I Taste a Liquor Never Brewed” (Poem 214)
“I taste a Liquor never Brewed —
From Tankards scooped in Pearl —
Not all the Frankfort Berries
Yield such an Alcohol!”
This joyful, whimsical poem compares the feelings of exuberance and ecstasy found in nature to the intoxicating pleasures of friendship. Just as Dickinson describes a unique, almost divine drink, so too does friendship offer a kind of intoxication, one that lifts the spirit and makes life seem more vivid and colorful.
12. “This is my letter to the World” (Poem 441)
“This is my letter to the World
That never wrote to Me —
The simple News that Nature told —
With tender Majesty”
In this poem, Dickinson reflects on her desire to communicate with the world, particularly through her poetry. The “letter to the World” can be interpreted as a metaphor for communication in friendship—how true bonds of affection are established through the exchange of thoughts, emotions, and vulnerability. In friendship, much like in this poem, the language shared between two people has a quiet, subtle power.
13. “A Man may make a Remark” (Poem 334)
“A Man may make a Remark
In itself — a Lie —
A Woman may make a Remark
In itself — a Lie —”
Dickinson explores the nature of communication, how our words often betray our true feelings. Friendship, she suggests, is not always about what is explicitly said but about what remains unsaid. It’s about the truth that lies beneath the surface, in the unspoken understanding between two people. In this way, Dickinson’s poem subtly celebrates the depth of genuine friendships, where silence can often speak louder than words.
Conclusion
Emily Dickinson’s exploration of friendship is multifaceted and profound. She captures the nuances of human connection, from the joy and intimacy of close bonds to the pain of their absence or dissolution. Through her intricate metaphors and succinct verse, Dickinson reminds us of the complexity and beauty of friendship, both in its simplicity and its depth. Whether celebrating the closeness of kindred spirits or reflecting on the solitude of unspoken understanding, Dickinson’s poems continue to resonate as timeless reflections on the importance of genuine human relationships.
